stein•saks•papir

That’s not a hand, it’s a claw. And this is not a song, it’s an exorcism of numbness. We are not in my bedroom anymore, it’s a prison camp that I’ve been stuck in. This isn’t skin, it’s a scramble suit with a thousand ‘me’s rotating. That’s not your mouth, that’s a boredom generator powered by irritation. We aren’t a couple, we’re isolationists who to try to use the buddy system. And that wasn’t sex, it was a competition for power that I’m clearly winning; but that’s not victory, matter of fact I think I’m better off forfeiting. You go for de gold, girl, I’m about to bounce out to Deadwoods Hills for cleaner living.

And I really do - hope it all works out like you want it to. I really do.

This is not Brooklyn, it’s a colony of wayward bees without a queen, and we’re not people, we’re like Sims controlled by childish deities. But see, we’re alive now, and it’s not time we’re wasting here, nah this is life. And you’re so pretty, like the gleam off that blade when you slipped my ribs the shivy. This ain’t a break up, I like to think of it as a stay of execution, and that’s not the air I’m clearing, it’s the wispy trails of our cumulus pollution.
And that’s not despair you’re feeling, it’s the petulant reaction of a wounded child.
And that’s not the door I’m looking at, it’s an escape hatch to the zeppelin we’re inside.

And I really do - hope it all works out like you want it to. I really do.

You’re not a woman, you’re a piranha with cutlery for dentured up smile, and I’m not a man, I’m an incomplete punchline of a joke I don’t understand. That’s not your diary, it’s a cook book and I’m your favourite chapter when you’re bored, and that’s not a love letter, it’s a recipe for the same slop you served before. This ain’t an insult, it’s the clearest truth I’ve ever had the misery to speak, and these aren’t words, these are the terms of my surrender and defeat! But I’m not sorry beyond the sorry nature of existing with no plans.
Please don’t touch me, just wave goodbye with that claw that not’s a hand.

Did I mention that I hope it all works out like you want it to… I really do…